총 44페이지

Eye of The Argus
What Are Friends for?
ByJeonNu-ri
EditorialConsultant
neofthemainconcernspeopleofallageshaveisgettingalongwithothers,i.e.,makingfriends.I
havestruggledwithrelationshipsoveraperiodoftime,andnowIguessIhavefoundmysolution,
not to be stressed out over other humans. Of course, I have not lived very long, but I expect my
storieswillgivealittlebitofinsighttothoseintheirearly20s.
First, I stopped being obsessed with friends. There was this friend whom I liked very much. I wanted to
know everything about her, and I hoped to be her “best friend,” as being just a very close friend was not
enough.Thus,Ididmybestforherandpaidallmyattentiontoher.However,shewasstillcloserwithother
friends, not me. It made me sad, angry, and jealous. I kept thinking, ‘Why does she like them more than
me? Why doesn’t she tell me everything? Why doesn’t she hang out with me more?’ I should have known
thatfriendsarenotsomekindofpersonalpossession.Wecannot“own”friends,andwecannotcontroltheir
mindsandfeelingsevenifwetryreallyhard.
Second,Ithrewawaythe“goodgirlsyndrome”deepinsideme.Iwantedeveryonetolikemeandconsider
meastheirgoodfriend.Ifeltaweirdsenseofobligation?‘Ishouldmakealotoffriends!’Accordingly,Idid
notrefuseanyrequests,noteventhedemandingones,becauserejectionwouldonlymakemelooklikeabad
friend. Besides, I was afraid that my friendships would fall apart because of me saying no. Then I realized
thatbeingayes-mandoesnotamounttobeingagoodfriend.Ifyouaremeanttobefriendswithsomeone,
thenheorshewillstaywithyouevenifyousay“No!”onsomeoccasions,andviceversa.
Third, I tried to be more open-minded. I tend to enjoy observing people from a distance and judge their
personality and behavior. In my head, I formed an image of people whom I barely knew and used that to
decide whether I should get close to them or not. I was risking the possibility of making good friends. I
obviouslyknewthatitwaswrongtojudgesomeone’scharacteristicsbyaswiftimpression.Itwasakindof
protectionformyselfbecauseIusedtohearpeoplesay,“Collegefriendsarefake,”soIkeptsomedistance,
trying not to get too close. However, I got to meet such great friends on campus. I become friends with a
personIneverimaginedgettingcloseto,andaswegetalongandhavediscoveredhiddenattractiveaspects
ineachother.
IhaveabadhabitofputtingthingsoffaslongasIcan,includingwritingback.Sometimesunreadmessage
notifications suffocate me. Nevertheless, I should keep myself alert and be more active in staying in touch
since friendship takes efforts. In this COVID-19 era where physical distancing is encouraged, keeping in
touchviamessengerisimportantforalastingfriendship,morethaneverbefore.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there,
standing in the gap to close it for us.” ? This “somebody” could be your friend. Do not get so stressed out
agonizingoverrelationships.Justbeyourself,andfriendswillcomealongattherighttime.
wjssnfl10@hufs.ac.kr
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www.theargus.org

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