총 40페이지

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▲Jung’sphysicalfeaturesandhissurroundingsdroveJungtoexperiencemanythingssuchasfeelinglikehedidnotbelonganywhere.
Even if he got along well with his siblings, there
But in a scene where he got a stomach ache after
were more times that he felt insecurity about being
hurriedly swallowing spicy food as a part of his
uprooted, psychological distance caused by his
searchforhisroots,herealizedhowmuchhisadopted
abandonment,anduncertaintyabouthisidentity.
mother loves him. He also came to acknowledge his
As is common with other adoptees, he misbehaved
own dual identity. His adopted parents did not love
frequently. Jung could not hide his uneasiness when
himless,butjustdifferently.Thiswasaturningpoint
another girl named Valerie was adopted from South
at which Jung began to accept the way he is and
Korea and she got the attention of the whole family.
unpackedthedisparityinhisfeelingsforhismother.
He was not ready enough to accept her presence
becauseseeingherjustremindedhimofone(himself)
“Is Jung-sik my real name?” “I cannot help
whocouldnotdoanythingwithoutothers’help.
you with it.” “What about the day I was born?”
Disobeyinghisparentswasnottheonlythinghehad
“That can be inaccurate.” “Can I know the reason
done.HehurthislittlesisterValerie,brokethecutting
why I was adopted?” “The record here says the
board in two, and modified his poor report card. His
child had no relatives to take care of him after his
adoptedmotheroftenscoldedhimharshlyforbeinga
parents died, so the police referred him to the Halt
“Rottenapple.”
Institution.”
“You are a thief, liar, and rotten apple. One rotten
Itdependsontheperson,butmanyadopteesfeelthe
apple spoils the whole barrel. Don’t you dare think
great urge to find out who they are and where they
to be close with my children!” was what Jung heard
come from. Articles about more and more Korean
from his angry mother on the way home after he had
adoptees struggling to find their birth family prove
beencaughtbyateacherforstealingabunchofmeal
that there are a lot of pieces missing from their lives.
vouchers.ThiswasonepointthatcausedJungtohave
However, they have to contend with the practical
a nightmare, and eventually, made him think that his
problemssuchastryingtofindtheirbiologicalparents
adoptedmotherdoesnotlovehiminthesamewayas
withincompleteorfaultybirth-relateddocuments.
shemightloveherownbirthchildren.
It was Jung’s friend Kim, also a Korean-Belgian
“I am a stranger everywhere. In Belgium where I
adoptee, who helped him to face a process of
grewup,peopletreatedmeasanAsianbecauseIam
grapplingwithhisidentitybyintroducinghimtosome
not white. That got me asking ‘How do I look in the
Koreans.WithKim’ssupport,Jungdecidedtoreturn,
eyes of Koreans?’ So I observed people closely since
forthefirsttimeinabout40yearstoSouthKorea:to
IcamebacktoKorea,andwheneverIgottomakean
breathe the air of his home country, tread the land of
eye contact with Korean grannies, I could not help
his ancestors, and maybe find traces of his biological
but to think of my biological mom who would be old
mother. This trip of reconciliation with his roots and
enoughtoreachthatage,”saidJung.
withhimself,however,wasnotparticularlyeasywhen
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